


Now

by bottomkuroo



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, on going
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-11-15 21:57:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11240064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bottomkuroo/pseuds/bottomkuroo
Summary: At the age of 20, your soulmate's name appears somewhere on your body.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for soulmates!au. I'm sorry if this isn't as good as what JackBum deserves AHA :( (I also apologize for, you know, mistakes and stuff.)
> 
> (Now - Jongup (B.A.P.))

_**Soulmate** (n. m. \ˈsəʊl.ˌmeɪt\\) A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet -- a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before._

 

At the age of 20, a name appears on your body--your soulmate's name with their own handwriting. It happens for people to get a name in a language they don't know about, it also happen for some people to be unable to read the name because of a messy handwriting. The soulmate system simply exists to make it easier for everyone to meet the person they are meant to be with, avoiding unnecessary pain.

The whole system actually works. It is statically proven that 97% of couples who date their destined partner actually ends up staying together. The other 3% consists on rare cases when a person dies before meeting their lifelong partner, or if they date someone else who isn't supposed to be theirs in the first place, or (in even more rare cases) people whom never got a name on their skin. 

Im Jaebum is 19 years old, about to turn 20 in four months and in all honesty he couldn't care less about it. Now, don't get him wrong. He is no pessimist, and it's not because his heart has been broken, or because he doesn't believe in love. He does believe in love, in genuine love where you meet someone and it just clicks with them. What bothers him is the fact that you have to accept your soulmate, and you have to love them, because that's just how it has to be, how it's supposed to be.

His parents have someone else's name, and yet Jaebum is pretty sure he's never seen two people as in love with each other as they are, or as happy as they are and they've been together for more than 20 years already.

So if you asked Jaebum if he believes in soulmates, he'd say no.

"Tomorrow's my 20th birthday" Mark says as he sits besides Jaebum in the practice room. 

Mark has been Jaebum's best friend since the day they met back in 2010--which was actually surprising because everyone thought Jaebum was too cold and Mark was way too quiet. Back when he and Jinyoung were on JJP, Jaebum mentioned loads of times that Mark-hyung was his best friend, which made Jinyoung a little upset because he's some kind of protective and jealous lad. Mark is probably the only person--beside Jinyoung of course--who knows about his parents, or about his scepticism about this whole soulmate thing. "Is that so" he says as he takes a long sip of water.

"Wow, JB. Don't be too exited" Mark says as he hits the younger's shoulder. "Aren't you curious?"

"Well, yes. I'm curious about the poor soul who will end up with you" Jaebum chuckles as he sees Mark's eyes narrowing.

"Maybe it's you" Mark says with a crooked smile, "Wouldn't it be nice? I could bother you for the rest of your life."

"Well, I would almost-- _almost_ \--be glad if it was you" Jaebum chuckles as he rests his head on the boy's shoulder for a second before removing it slowly. "You're not that bad."

"Of course I'm not that bad" Mark says as he rolls his eyes playfully, "But I would feel horrible as you keep saying you don't believe on this stuff. Plus, I'm pretty sure your soulmate is Junior."

And at that, Jaebum can't help but laugh out loud because "No, never, ever, nope. Jinyoung and I can't ever date, I lived with him and nope."

"Isn't he your best friend? How rude" Mark chuckles.

"He is. And you are, too."

They stay silent for a while, Jaebum finding some kind of odd comfort with Mark's silence. If someone asked him to choose his soulmate, he would probably pick Mark. They just fit oddly well--oddly because no one actually understands why Mark likes to hang around JB when the latter has such a bad temper, and no one understand how Jaebum can hang out with someone who seems on mute 24/7. The thing is, Mark talks. A lot. He can be loud, and laugh, and talk, and Jaebum likes it a lot. 

"So, not Junior?" Mark asks quietly, almost like a whisper and Jaebum decides to fully rest his head over the older's shoulder as he shakes his head. "Then maybe your soulmate is Jackson?"

"Jackson?" Jaebum asks because, well. He does like him, but. _But_. "I hope it's not him." Mark's shoulders start shaking a little, and Jaebum knows he's laughing silently. "Why are you laughing? It wasn't rude or anything!"

"I thought you liked him" Mark says with a small chuckle, "you two work out together, he's always cheering on you, or asking for you. We haven't even debuted and he's already half in love with you."

"That's the thing though" Jaebum smirks, "He seems half in love with everyone, and everyone is completely in love with him. I'm kind of possessive so Jackson is a no no" he says making the older laugh even more. "You know, it can also be a girl."

"Not to sound rude, but you look oblivious to girls in general."

"Fuck off. I'm not calling you hyung if you keep on saying rude things." They both laugh, knowing perfectly well that Mark doesn't really care about honorifics anyway. "Do you want to go eat something as we wait for midnight and see whose name you get?"

Mark nods.

 

 

 

 

Jaebum doesn't need to read the name--He recognizes the writing on Mark's tanned skin. 

_Park Jin-Young_  is inked near Mark's cage. "Okay, this is surprising. JYP?  _Our boss?_ " 

"Idiot" Jaebum laughs.

"So, Junior. This is still surprising."

"I'm almost disappointed that my name isn't there" Jaebum sighs dramatically as Mark hits his shoulder with a chuckle.

 

 

-

 

 

They'll debute soon, really soon. And Jaebum's birthday is soon as well, which is an actual pain because apparently everyone wants to see whose name will be on his skin. And no, Jaebum is not exited about it.

"Aren't you curious?" Jackson asks as he lies on Jaebum's bed because they've become friendly enough for the Chinese boy to sneak into his bed when he can't sleep. "What if it's one of our name? What if it's Youngjae's, or Bambam's?"

And teasing Jaebum might just be Jackson's favourite hobby, because since the day they met Jackson hasn't stopped being friendly with him, hugging him, calling him pet names and insisting that he was handsome.

(Jaebum doesn't have a low self-estime. He doesn't think highly of himself, but it is not due to a lack of self-awareness. He's simply not blind--with members as gorgeous as Mark Tuan or Jackson Wang, Jaebum simply doesn't stand out that much. The first time he told Jackson about it, the younger seemed half upset, and insisted that " _Im Jaebum you are handsome, cool, chic and sexy~ stop saying you're not"_. Which was almost-- _almost_ \--sweet. But whatever.)

"I hope not" Jaebum says as he lies beside Jackson. He should want to be on his own, with no one lying on his bed right beside him but Jackson acts like that 50% of the time. That must be why he doesn't really care if the younger has no conception of personal space, and touches Jaebum more often than anyone else has ever done so in his entire life.

(Also, Jackson is cute. Jaebum is weak when people are cute.)

"Do you..." Jackson starts, and he seems pretty concentrated judging by the way he bites his lower lip. "Do you want Junior's name to--"

"Oh my God" Jaebum chuckles because why do people simply assume he and Jinyoung are meant to end up together?  "Hell no, Jackson. Anyway, I want to be the one to chose my partner. Regardless of the name that will appear."

"What if it's me?" Jackson teases as he leans closer into Jaebum's space, "Wouldn't it be handy?"

"How could it be handy?" Jaebum scoffs.

"We're in the same group, I'm handsome and adorable so it would be easy for you to fall for me" Jackson grins and laughs loudly when he sees Jaebum rolling his eyes. "Shall we already decide our pet names? I like 'honey'. Should I call you that?"

"Shut up, princess" Jaebum says as he pushes him out of the bed.

"See, you already found one for me~" Jackson giggles and honestly? Jaebum is so done.

(And if he spends the night with Jackson, it's only because he's too tired to kick him out of the room.)

 

 

-

 

 

Chinese characters.

A handwriting he really likes, which is a mixture of neat and messy. The writing is smaller than what he thought it'd be, smaller than his friends' or anyone he's met. 

The tattoo is pretty.

On January 6th 2014, _Wang Jia Er_  appears on Jaebum's pale wrist and because Jaebum doesn't believe in soulmates, and because they don't fit or anything, he decides to hide the tattoo with his watch and lies about who's name it is. 

"So it wasn't my name, huh" Jackson asks and for a second, just a second Jaebum thinks he sees a glimpse of disappointment in Jackson's eyes. The latter sighs deeply, "Here I was, ready to be spoiled by our sexy leader."

"Shut up" Jaebum chuckles and gosh he feels like a fraud right now. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this wasn't that good ç_ç Also.... it seems unfinished, right? ugh.  
> I almost--almost--made this a MarkBum fic *sweats nervously*.
> 
> THANK YOU FOR READING, FEEDBACKS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME <333


	2. Chapter 2

"Liar."

Jaebum feels a shiver running down his spine at Mark's words, knowing perfectly well what he was talking about. "What?"

"Don't play dumb, you're making your guilty face right now, you can't fool me," Mark adds as he sits over his leader bed, not really caring about the disapproval glare Jaebum is giving him. "Show me your tattoo."

"Why do you care?"

"I showed you mine when I got it. Where are you hiding it? Is it somewhere too private?" Mark teases and gets a pillow on his side as an answer. "Anyway. I already know whose name it is, the question is why did you lie about it."

"I could ask you the same question. How come Jinyoung doesn't know?"

"He didn't ask. I probably give this vibe of not wanting to ask, since Jackson didn't ask either," Mark says cheekily, "but I know for a fact that Jackson asked _you_ about yours. And you lied."

"How can you be so sure it's his name?" Jaebum rolls his eyes, feigning boredom when truth is, he was getting nervous by the minute.

"Okay. If you tell me it isn't his name, I'll believe you."

Mark plays dirty, Jaebum thinks. Maybe because of all those years knowing him, but there's this kind of unsaid rule between them about honesty that both of them agreed without needing to talk about it in the first place. 

Mark knows Jaebum wont lie to him.

"My wrist."

"Huh?"

"If you take off my watch, you'll see it."

And Mark sits, taking Jaebum's wrist in his hands as he takes off the watch carefully. "Jia Er," he whispers as a smiles grows over his face. "I knew it. Dammit, I can't--why didn't you tell him? You do realize he will be mad when he'll realized you lied, and hid this from him."

"Jackson doesn't get mad, not with me at least."

"Well, he will this time."

And maybe Mark is right, but for now Jaebum wants to forget about this soulmate thing because not only is he not in love with Jackson, but he doesn't plan to fall for him just because he's _supposed_ to. And he knows Jackson wont either. At the end, the Chinese is just going to be grateful. "He wont."

"Why do you like to be in denial so much, Im Jaebum?"

"What about Jinyoung? What will you tell him when he'll ask why you didn't tell him you had his name?"

"I'll tell him he didn't ask, so I didn't bother. He'll agree and we'll laugh it off and we'll start dating eventually if it works out." Mark stands up, stretching his arm, putting the watch back on Jaebum's wrist carefully. He holds his hand for a moment. "Stop worrying."

"I'm not," Jaebum frowns.

"Just--don't be rude with Jacks about this. He actually believes and wants to meet his soulmate so..."

"All of you know I don't believe in that" Jaebum sighs as he chuckles. "When he'll see my name, he'll be pissed, and disappointed that--"

"I told you not to worry" Mark adds as he sits on the edge of the bed and covers the younger mouth with his free hand.

Jaebum smiles, clicking his tongue and faking annoyance making Mark giggle. "Don't you want to be _my_ soulmate instead?"

Mark has no time to answer as the door opens and Jinyoung walks in with Jackson, both of them looking at their leader and their hyung holding hands and sharing smiles. Bad timing. Jaebum takes his hand off quickly, not sure why he's feeling so embarrassed if it's no secret for anyone in the company that Mark is his close friend and they often hold hands and stuff.

Jinyoung comes in loudly, siting beside Mark and putting his arms around his waist as he leans his head over his shoulder, saying something about losing to Jackson on a video game. Jaebum looks up at Jackson, who seems awkwardly quiet--but maybe it's nothing--and whose gaze was still on Jaebum's face--but again, this was probably nothing.

"Why are you two always hanging together without all of us?" Jinyoung pouts.

"Didn't know you missed me that much," Jaebum says with a smirk, making the younger roll his eyes.

"I'm talking about Mark-hyung" Jinyoung bickers back, making Mark laugh. "Is Jaebum your favourite dongsaeng? Pay attention to us, not just him."

Jinyoung is some possessive freak over his hyungs, over his dongsaeng, over his fans, and Jaebum is seriously glad they never dated and he's not his other half. He looks at Mark, and judging by the way he actually seems pleased that Jinyoung is acting like a brat, he's pretty sure they really are a good match. (Just the thought of it makes him want to roll his eyes.)

"My favourite is Jackson" Mark says teasingly as he smiles to the Chinese, making him smile for the first time since he came into the room. 

 

-

 

"Is it Mark?"

"What?"

They are recording "Girls, girls, girls" when Jackson asks this quietly, trying not to be too loud or to awkward. Jaebum frowns, not sure at all what he's talking about because half of the time, when Jackson talks Jaebum is too distracted by the way he talks and the way his eyes widen when he's too exited by something to actually pay attention to what he's saying. 

"Mark."

"What about him?"

"Why are you like this" Jackson says as he shakes his head in disbelief.

"What are you talking about?" Jaebum frowns.

"Forget it," Jackson says with a too wide grin, "It was nothing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't update in ages, I'm so sorry! *sobs sobs* I've been travelling and doing school stuff (I'm supposed to be on vacation, wth.) but here I am, with such a small update but I hope you guys will like this? :3 (my laptop is at 6% so I'll correct mistakes tomorrow xx)
> 
> also, thank you @sailingfreely because talking with you always inspires my poor creativity, I love you<3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, support, kudos, and for actually liking what I write, it means alot :) so here, a little update, hoping it won't be as boring as I feel it is >///<

Jaebum fits awkwardly with the rest of the boys. It's a fact, and even Jinyoung has been teasing him about it.

Jaebum is nervous, and as a leader he feels pressured--probably more pressured than he ever did, so much more pressured than back in 2012 when he was in JJP. Pressure is everywhere, and as much as he likes the thrill to perform on stage in front of thousands of people, he can't help but to feel pressured and to be way more serious than he used to be a few years back.

"Stop scaring the kids" Jackson says as they are both posing for Grazia's next magazine cover. Jaebum frowns and gets an annoyed sighed from the photographer as he tells him to stop frowning. Jackson chuckles. "You're too serious."

"I've always been this way," Jaebum says as calmly as possible, ignoring the way the photographer seems done with telling Jaebum how to pose as he sighs, asking the stylist noona to go fix something on Jackson's hair and Jaebum's make-up.

"You weren't like this in JJP," Jackson points out as he smiles to the noona, thanking her for taking care of his hair. He glances at Jaebum, chuckling. "Yes, I've watched every single episode, I almost live together with you since a few years already, don't pretend to be surprised I know about this."

"JJP was different," Jaebum says. He sees Jackson frowning, and adds " _This_  means even more to me, and I have to be serious about it."

Jackson smiles warmly, and Jaebum curses himself for thinking Jackson actually looks cute. But he is, even with his hair standing weirdly at the back--seriously, _why_?--, Jackson Wang is full of charms. Charming and lovely.

(Jaebum tries to avoid thinking about the tattoo on the inside of his wrist, and insist to wear watches and handbands because he's an idiot, as Mark likes to point out. He tries to avoid the topic inside his head, because the more he spends time with Jackson and the more he realizes he wouldn't mind that much about them being...  _something_. And because he wouldn't mind, that would lead to false emotions only guided by the stupid mark over his skin that reminds him that he wasn't free--never was in the first place--to choose a partner, that all of those feelings were going to happen because of a tattoo.)

"Trust us a little," Jackson says, interrupting Jaebum's train of thoughts. Jaebum frowns, about to protest when Jackson adds,"I know you trust us, but trust us even more. We'll make it. And let the kids know you a little bit more."

Jaebum really wants to protest, but words get lost somewhere inside his brain as he feels Jackson's warm hand rubbing the back of his head and then staying at his nape before the stylist noona tells Jackson to stop messing with Jaebum's hair.

 

-

 

_Insomnia is a sleep disorder that is characterized by difficulty falling and/or staying asleep. People with insomnia have one or more of the following symptoms:_ _Difficulty falling asleep, w_ _aking up often during the night and having trouble going back to sleep, w_ _aking up too early in the morning, f_ _eeling tired upon waking_

 

Now, Jaebum is no stalker, or creep, or anything. He just notices stuffs most of the time, so when it comes to his members of course he will notices when someone is obviously needing some kind of intervention. As a leader, he has to take care of his members the most, even if said members pretend they don't need his help for whatever reason.

 

_Sleepiness during the day, g_ _eneral tiredness, i_ _rritability, problems with concentration or memory._

 

Jackson has been nervous, upon nervous and gets moody at random times since a few days, which is quite weird because Jackson doesn't get mad, doesn't get moody, is always all smiles and laughs and loud. But right now, Jackson is nothing but that. Jackson is quiet, practices too much, seems unfocused when people talk to him, ignores Jinyoung's and Mark's worried glances. Jaebum tries not to be paranoid, but he can't just stay silent when he notices the bags under the younger's eyes, and the obvious lack of sleep he's having as he drinks more and more coffee--even though Jackson told him multiple times how coffee wasn't healthy.

It's 3 a.m when he spots him in their living room. Jackson is watching something Jaebum has no idea what it is as he doesn't recognize the language, and the darkness of the room and the lighting of his laptop makes him look smaller, his profile looking soft despite the tiredness visible by his puffy eyes which normally are all wide. For a moment, Jaebum is reminded of the first time he saw the boy, thinking how bright--too bright--he was, and how he envied how wide were those dark eyes of his and how soft his features looked, unlike his own which were already sharper, making him look even less accessible. 

"Do you even sleep?" Jaebum asks as he sits on the floor, next to the Chinese.

Jackson looks at him, eyes widening a little, and by the look on his face Jaebum's presence did startle him. He smirks softly, gaze back to his screen, "Were you worried?" he asks knowing too well Jaebum doesn't fancy those kind of questions because of course he does but he'd like not to say it out loud.

"Of course I am, what's up with you?" He asks, looking at the screen. The Heirs, dubbed in chinese. _Really_.

"Nothing."

"Jackson."

"Nothing for you to worry, Im Jaebum" He smirks, eyes glued to the screen.

"So you wont mind if I watch this," he says as he points the screen, "with you."

"I knew you liked those," Jackson giggles, poking Jaebum's cheek.

Jaebum smiles, his attention on Jackson as the latter watches the drama.

When Jackson likes something, everyone knows about it: he's that kind of person. Jackson wont shut about the things he likes, or the things he just learned, or the matters he cares about, because he likes to share those things with the people he loves. Jackson fills silences with his cheerful voice because he doesn't like awkward situation, and he likes to put people at ease. Jackson is quite easy to figure out if you pay enough attention, and that's probably why Jaebum knows Jackson isn't really watching a cheesy drama because he likes it, but because he needs some background noise to shut his too loud thoughts.

"It's almost Valentines day."

Jaebum raises his eyebrows, not sure of what to do with that information.

"A month and half later, I'll get a name."

There's no word coming from any of them, the living room as dark as it was, the drama filling the small space between them and yet Jaebum feels exposed. It's not like he didn't think about it, he knows. He knows his name will appear over Jackson's skin in 6 weeks, and he knows Jackson will ask why he didn't tell and lied about. He also knows Jackson will be disappointed, because Jaebum simply can't love him. Or at least not in these conditions, and he knows Jackson's feeling won't be real when the tattoo will come. 

Jackson chuckles. "Don't force yourself. I know you think this is dumb, but I just--I really want to know who it is, but at the same time--I don't. I feel kind of nervous, and pressured, and hopeful, somehow. I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Jaebum asks, wanting Jackson to look at him but he doesn't.

"Because I'm bothering you with something you don't believe in," Jackson says as he puts the next episode.

Fraud. For the nth time, talking about this makes him feel like a fraud, a liar and he wishes he could just tell the younger because it's a matter of time before he'll know.

"Thank you for listening, anyway" Jackson whispers as he lies his head over Jaebum's shoulder, which is oddly comfortable.

 

-

 

February 14th.

When he was little, he used to receive a few chocolates (read: never more than two), always anonymous and he always suspected his teacher to put them in his desk. She was kind, and she always gave presents for birthdays, and she always gave chocolate to boys and girls who didn't get any. Jaebum always knew it was her, and didn't mind because he knew those were pity-chocolate, but the thought was still nice.

Fans are unexpectedly kind, and give them loads of chocolates and home-made cookies and Jaebum smiles thinking a few years back he would never think he'd receive this many. 

"Here."

They're leaving some fan meeting when Jackson gives him something wrapped in a pink paper bag. Jaebum frowns, chuckling. "Are you giving me a chocolate one of our fans gave to you?"

"I'm not that rude," Jackson gasps, insisting on Jaebum taking the bag. Jaebum takes it, and smells it. It smells like chocolate and strawberries and heaven if you ask him. "For you."

"Is it poisoned?" Jaebum has to ask, because that's still odd. Kind and sweet, but odd.

"Can't you just say 'thank you, Jackseunie~ you're the sweetest~'?" Jackson says with so much cuteness Jaebum cringes, making the younger roll his eyes. "It's a thank you, for listening to me the other day."

"Are they home-made? 'cause with your skills, I rather not have them" Jaebum grins.

"You're the worst leader," Jackson says as he walks faster and joins Bambam and Yugyeom in whatever conversation they are having.

Jaebum knows this is just a thank you gift, but the thought of receiving something from Jackson on Valentines day could make so many people jealous, he can't help the warmness he feels. He'll have to buy chocolates for everyone before they head back to the dorms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgive typos and incoherent sentences (but if it's too incoherent please point them out so I can correct them HAHA). ALL THE LOVE xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update, I promise I didn't forget about this, I'm just pretty slow and out of ideas by times:(  
> This isn't really meant to be angsty, but it might be eventually? So... Yeah. Just so you know,.
> 
> As alwaysssss, thanks for your support on this fic <33 it means a lot, as you know:)

White day 

Now, Jaebum shouldn't be nervous because there's nothing to be nervous about. It's just some pastries, and for every members. Nothing to overthink about, or to stress for.

They've been spending these last few day performing and attending fan meetings, and as exausted as they all should be, none of then seems to realize how sleep-deprived they are.

"Two weeks and you'll know," Bambam whispers into Jackson's ear, and it's loud enough for Jaebum to hear it.

Jackson simply lies his head over the younger's shoulder as he murmurs something in a foreign language, and Jaebum isn't sure if it was Japanese or something else.

Jackson doesn't speak Japanese though.

Jaebum sighs, his gaze going to the window as the car keeps on moving. Mark, who's sat beside him rest his chin over his shoulder. "Tic tac, tic tac," he says and Jaebum can't help but laughs because Mark is an asshole, no doubt about it. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"Where to?" Jaebum whispers.

"Get chocolate for your boyfriend," Mark whispers back into the younger's ear, and Jaebum has to hold back from hitting him, which ends up with both of them giggling.

"What's so funny?" Jinyoung asks, eyes wide and with his usual pout when he feels left apart. Mark mumbles something, which apparently isn't convincing enough judging by the frown on Jinyoung's face.

 

 

"So, pastries, huh?" Mark asks as they make their way inside the French Pastry. "Why not just chocolate?"

"It's for everyone, you included. Even though you're an asshole. International asshole," he says as they take a number, looking what's on the display, Jaebum having no actual clue of what the members would like.

_Or what Jackson would like._

Mark smiles, and as much as Jaebum wishes he was immune to it. "You're thinking about what to get him, aren't you?"

"Shut up."

"Jaebummie~" Mark starts, making the younger cringe a little. "What is hyung here for? Trust hyung for once~"

"Are you really playing the hyung card, now?" Jaebum rolls his eyes, not able to hold on his smile nonetheless. 

As their number comes up, Mark is the one picking which makes a little sense because Mark is attentive to his surroundings, and he knows what everyone likes best. Jaebum couldn't be more thankful in moments like those to have a friend like Mark, who's willing to help and who's always having his back even when it comes to things as stupid as going to buy goods for the members for White Day.

  

 

"Hyung."

It startles him. Not because he wasn't expecting anyone in the dorm--beats him why, everyone was practicing even if they had the night off--except for Mark who was fast asleep in his room already. Jaebum was planning to put the pastries over the table and to go sleep, that way he wouldn't have to comfront any of the members calling his gesture out and he wouldn't have to face, most of all, Jackson who would tease him endlessly about it.

He was not expecting Jinyoung to be there.

"Can I ask you something?"

Jaebum nods, and he feels awkwardly nervous. He knows, he thinks. Jinyoung must know, and is about to call him out about his denial over Jackson, and he'll have to explain all over again why he knows it must be some mistake from the gods.

(Not like he believed in multiple gods, but hey. The more people he can blame the better, right?)

"Is it Mark-hyung?"

"What?"

"Your soulmate. It's Mark, right?"

"Say what?" Jaebum scoffs, taking a bottle of water from the fridge, leaving the small bag of pastries. "How can you--"

"Is it?" Jinyoung insists, and Jaebum might be wrong but he truly seems concerned. 

"Why didn't you ask him?"

"I don't--" Jinyoung rolls his eyes, displeased by that answer. "I don't mind who's name he gets. I just wanted to make sure it isn't yours."

"And why's that?"

"Because I wouldn't like to see the two of you kissing in front of me. Or whatever."

"Why do you sound jealous?"

"It's not like that," Jinyoung chuckles. "Anyway, I just needed to be sure."

"What for?"

Jinyoung smiles, too brightly, the wrinkles by his eyes appearing and like every time the boy smiles, Jaebum is reminded of their younger years when they both were too young to understand how hard it was to be recognize as idols by the public. "Because Mark is too good for you," he says, and it sounds teasing, but somehow the leader knows he meant it.

Jaebum doesn't get the chance to add anything as Jinyoung is already out of the kitchen and probably heading out of the flat.

 

 

 

> **Jackson** : Thanks for the pastries. ^^

>  
> 
> **Jaebum :** what?
> 
>  
> 
> **Jackson :** wasnt it from u??
> 
>  
> 
> **Jaebum :** nop. Mark.
> 
>  
> 
> **Jackson : .....**
> 
> **Jackson :** ok if you say so
> 
> **Jackson** : Then... Thank Mark for me ( ˘ 3˘)♥

 

 

 

 

Jaebum sighs deeply, cursing under his breath. He looks at Youngjae who is sleeping peacefuly, wanting to actually kick him out and be on his own.

The definition of coward should have his own name written just beside it, seriously.

 

 

 

-

 

  

 

Between shows and fan meeting, Jackson's birthday is almost there and Jaebum feels more and more anxious. He feels things he shouldn't feel, nor care--because he never cared about that before. And yet here he is, staring at Jackson more often, and even trying to avoid him a little--he's doing a poor job at it but anyway.

The problem is Jackson.

Jackson seems too quiet when they aren't on shows, or in front of cameras. He also stays in his rooms too often, and he also spaces out a lot when they are all practicing or eating, and Jaebum could bet anything this is because of the name that will appear soon on his skin.

As they were all watching a movie in the living room, Jackson insists in sitting right next to Jaebum, which surprises the older but he simply shrugs lazily.

Jackson's head is resting over his shoulder and Jaebum arm is around his shoulders, his thumb tracing a small pattern over the younger's arm. Jackson sighs, and he rests his chin over Jaebum's bony shoulder. "Hyung," he whispers, and Jaebum realizes the closeness between them when he feels Jackson's breath against his jaw. "Hyung, hyung, hyung."

"Jackson-ah," Jaebum whispers back, not daring to look at the younger.

"You make my heart flutter when you say my name, you know," he says quietly and softly, and if Jaebum felt nervous before it is nothing compared to this right now. "Is it because you have a lovely voice?"

"What are you babbling about?" Jaebum tries not to sound nervous as he feels Jackson's lips against his shoulder. "What are you doing?"

"Does your heart flutter when I call you hyung, though?" he keeps on whispering and Jaebum wonders how the others are still focused on the movie and talking, not paying attention to what's up with Jackson. "I guess not, huh?"

"What are you--"

Jackson stands up, and tells his good nights to everyone before he leaves to his room.

Now, Jaebum shouldn't pay too much attention to whatever this was. And he doesn't. But as the leader, he can't help but worry. And as a friend, he feels something is off with him. He doesn't realize he's in front of Jackson door, knocking, until he already is and until Jackson is opening the door, surprised. "Is there something wrong?"

Jaebum sighs as he makes his way inside the room, ignoring Jackson's protest and sitting over Mark's bed. "Are you okay?

"That's...a shitty question to ask, hyung," Jackson chuckles. "But yes, I am."

"Don't lie."

"I'm not." And they keep on staring at each other for a moment before Jackson sighs. "Tomorrow's my birthday. In a few hours actually."

"I thought you wanted to know..." Jaebum says as nonchalently as possible. "You seemed thrilled a few weeks ago."

"I thought that as well, but that's because I thought I knew whose name would be there. But now I don't know, and I'm feeling a little sick."

He thought about someone's name. Jackson thought about someone else's name, and he will be deceived when Jaebum's handwriting will be inked over his skin.  This was becoming some bad drama, and Jaebum wasn't down for it.  

"You realize a name doesn't mean anything, right? You can still love and be with whoever you want."

"As pessimist and sceptic as always, I see. but you know I believe in this stuff. So excuse me if I'm feeling sad."

Jaebum's lack of tact always messes situations. _Dammit_. "Anyway. The thing is... You shouldn't worry. It can't be bad, or anything. Just--" and he has no idea of what to say? Because he can't say that he'll meet someone lovely, because Jaebum is his soulmate, and _Jaebum isn't lovely_. He also can't say it might end up being great, because that's like self boasting. So what can he do?

"Can you stay with me the night?" Jackson asks softly, his eyes widening, smiling apologetically. "I just... I need comfort."

And Jaebum nods.

(Jackson makes things feel so much easier than how they really are.)

As he lays down next to him, he doesn't notice at what moment he ends up pulling the younger into his embrace but does notice how domestic that might look to any outsider. Should he feel weirded out by this? Why isn't Jackson freaking out? And mostly, why is Jaebum feeling comforted as well by the boy's presence? "I can feel your heart beating faster," Jackson chuckles.

"I call bull," Jaebum says. He looks down at Jackson, whose head is pressed against his chest, and he touches a stray of hair. _So soft_.

"I hate this system."

"Hm?"

"Soulmate. This is so stressful and annoying," he whines softly.

"I thought you liked it," Jaebum says and smirks a little, "I thought you were feeling ' _kind of nervous, and pressured, and hopeful, somehow_ '. That's what you said a month ago. What happened with that?" 

"Yeah. Well, right now I don't." 

"Are you sulking?" Jaebum scoffs, and Jackson pinches his side as a response.

This should be weird. This easiness and softness between them should really feels too much for Jaebum, because he never likes closeness like this with his members. This shouldn't feel so comforting, but it is and for a slight moment he thinks this could be alright.

Just the thought of it makes him a little sad because as much as he might like this, and as much as whatever he's feeling right now is overwhelming, he also knows it is one sided.

And tomorrow is about to change something, as he will be turning 20. 


End file.
